dots.

2007-08-04T23:19:00.000+08:00

www.ipwnz.blogspot.com

because i feel like it.

(I'll probably change blogs every so often.)

2007-03-17T15:37:00.001+08:00

2006-12-26T20:43:00.000+08:00

MERRY ~~CHRISTMAS~~ BOXING DAY AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR

the past week has been exciting much!

monday to wednesday
funk it out hip hop&street jazz crashhh course! the first day was nuts and almost stressful, but it got super fun towards the end when i finally got it into my head that it's okay even if i make a fool out of myself in front of strangers. second day was even more fun than the first, and the third day I WAS TIRED LIKE DON'T KNOW WHAT. hahah people got progressively more tired and went for the workshop later and later each day :D the performance was fun and a lot less stressful than sports fest XD

thursday
smp&eastcoastpark. I WALKED DON'T KNOW HOW LONG. walked the same 2.5km stretch of ecp... THREE TIMES. and received ten thousand 'o-kay-these-people-are-we-ird' stares along the way. then dinner with my uncle's family. now i remember how awesome my cousins are(:

friday
was supposed to be sleep-in-like-a-pig day to make up for the absolutely tiring monday to wednesday. but noooo, my mum wants to make glutinous rice balls. which is pretty cool, haha. i made mine multi-coloured \: and we can't make the fillings stay in the glutinous flour AIYAAA. fun fun fun (:

saturday
CLEAN UP. HAHAHA. MY ROOM IS GROSS AND FULL OF DUST. and then we had family BBQ #1 and sushi for dinner. chicken wings and satay and ham and hotdogs and corn and loads of unhealthy food (: AND TV-ING WITH MY SISTER. ROCKS. :D

sunday
HAHAHA BBQ #2. and we played mahjong till 2am (:

monday
the most un-christmas-y christmas ever?

tuesday
aa meeting! not the most productive ever, but it rocks having most of the batch together. and the gift exchange was super funny? hahaha we cannot count and the numbers AREN'T IN ORDER.

i refuse to remember that school starts in 7 days or so. oh, and i'm going to sarawak till tuesday. i won't be going "HAPPY NEW YEAR!!" in singapore :D

2006-12-12T14:00:00.000+08:00

i realise that osl is a lot like summer school.

and next year, i'll make sure to go somewhere far far away for two weeks again. and play bridge like there's no tomorrow while i'm at it(:

really, the two are so similar, it scares me (almost).

2006-12-11T21:53:00.000+08:00

hoho, i'm back! have been since friday, actually. and now, i'll totally recap everything that happened in the past two weeks.

GROUP THREE.

os, serene, chloe, joey, denise, sijia, jiaying.

yi, er, san, si, wu, liu, qi.

do, re, mi, fa, so, la, ti.

crocodile, orang utan, eagle, silver fish, bunny, beaver, crazy elephant.

as, berene, coe, doey, enise, fijia, giaying.

you know, all you guides out there should be touched that i kept thinking of all of you during the trip! like, REALLY. you should look at my handbook reflections section. everytime there's a new learning point or something, i will add on to how it is relevant and can be applied to guides. and i taught the osl team the crazy elephant song! which my group taught some of the students there too! which means that the song went from japan/uk (forgot which one?) to singapore to indiaaaa. hahaha. and the first thing that i bought on the shopping trip was kim because i looked at it and went "kim's game!"

but! that's just a small small part of the fourteen days of osl. there are a million and one other things that happened as well, okay;

i will never forget the waking up late and going "oh no, we overslept. again.", the crazy housekeeping sessions, sijia and her cuppycakes song thing, the rtc! and our many uninformed members, the many draining facils and debriefs, trying to play the guitar (QINGTIAN), the three kanchiong spiders, catching spiders and many other strange insects (including the traumatising cockroach&lizard hybrid that cannot walk straight), saying 'totally!' ahhahaha, snapping random photos, bursting into laughter at the most inappropriate times (coughmealtimescough), choking on the silly vitamin c pill, playing cards!(till it got banned ): ), the absolutely whacked cxc practices where we all got hiiighh and learnt each other's' dances.. or the warped versions of it at least, the sudden surprising scary spontaneous dancing after welcome ceremony, the very good chicken!, the traumatising toilet drain things, the jumping prawn!(that jumped into my face --"), the many yummy coconuts, DAYONG SAMPAAAAN, community singing!, ~~intergroup bonding~~ intrateam-bonding, the stalker drum seller heh, the fishing nets!, the neverending food, irockyourockWEROCK, blacksheep baaaa!, with yours love truly, bargaining!, frantic dishwashing after meals, being annoyed at kitchens that only have one sink, the singing fridge!, crazy videos (MUST PUT ON YOUTUBE HAHA), mad&mass letter writing sessions :D, BEING TALL AND BEING SUANED, the super cool riviera suites, staying up till 4am on the last night then sleeping because we couldn't take it and bridge got boring XD, the video-that-was-never-shown-in-the-end-after-all, spilling paint! >< , chaotah eggs!, potatoes that bleed and taste like onions, making a thousand and one mistakes and feeling awful about it and learning to grow from it all, the gross chicken and its insides!, group one the hungry people, group two the helpful people, group three the wonderful and sweet and noisy people! oh, and the teachers. rockssss. i hope they don't teach us/me next year though? it'll be super weird and funny, knowing that your teachers did/do weird stuff --"

okay. that sort of roughly summarises the highlights of the trip. it took me quite long okay! to keep on adding in points as i do other stuff XD i'm sure i left out loads of stuff, but they are all in my heart. oh wells, if you actually read through that whole chunk, good job!

that's osl for you, and that's it. now, i'm ready to move on.

uhhuh.

like, t0tAlli3xX

with love, yours truly.

2006-11-24T21:42:00.000+08:00

FLYING. MOMMY, I'M FLYING!

in slightly under 10 hours. i don't believe this.

~~i'm freakishly unprepared? shh, don't tell the mentors that.~~

see you in a bit?

2006-11-21T21:22:00.000+08:00

I BREATHE a sigh of relief

the handbook's printed! and it looks pretty! even though it's only black&white! it's still very very pretty!

and i'm happy because i have bought all (or very almost all!) the things that i need for my trip! after rushing home from school at 3 in the afternoon!

and my keyboard shortcuts absolutely rock please(:

YOU KNOW WHAT. now that the handbook is done, i feel alot more prepared for the trip, and am ready to take on anything

RAWRR. :D

hurhur, and i'm lazy to reply tags laaa, cannot is it.
oce: stalker friend! i'm sad because my contact list CANNOT BE PUT IN THE HANDBOOK BECAUSE IT CONTAINS PERSONAL INFO. aiyaa.

sarahanne: you probably won't see this! but HIII. woohoo, i feel old now that there's a new batch of summer school-ers. have loads of fun (i know you will!) and enjoy the gelato! (because they rock waaaay more than the ones in singapore)

ky: duhh, haha why else will i choose it! XD

CASUAAAA: <3! yeah, must totally meet up!

michelle: YAY THE HANDBOOKS ARE OUT!!!

2006-11-14T22:35:00.000+08:00

the cbox's up again! after gathering dust for a couple of years. i mean, weeks.

and it's all JUST FOR YOU, REBECCA BOCKS HOE.

because i saw your tag (on your own blog!) and I KNOW YOU WANT TO TAG. yes.

yay. welcome back cbox(:

and it was getting too quiet around here anyways.

2006-11-10T16:11:00.000+08:00

it took me two over days to figure that 'heck it, i'll just not bother about having said that i will not write here (this blog) anymore.'

so i'm here, about leadership camp :D

it was just three short days (hurhur, and some of you even calculated the exact number of hours!) but we had tonnes and tonnes of fun. although we did not really want to go for the camp at first, we all enjoyed it in the end, right? i know i for one was rather sad when we had to hurry off to the bus right after closing ceremony. i wanted a little more time to take photos and whatnot.

it was less than 72 hours, but we now know so many weird things about each other. how guides are not bimbo (duhh), how red cross may (not) know how to administer proper first aid sometimes (bandagesprainedankle), how ncc(land) is not all manly all the time (~~BEE~~), how gb is not just there for entertainment, how ~~nppcc~~ ~~npccccccc~~ npcc(sea) do not just build rafts, how ncc(air) can be totally scary sometimes too (okay, maybe that's just me).

it was only (i will not bother to count) minutes but we bonded together and are now stuck on each other like glue (hur hur, no pun intended). go dRUGs :DDD

i love our (d)rugs. like, totally. and i miss them (: and the next day (er, yesterday) I WAS SUPER HAPPY TO SEE EVERYONE AGAIN. (: let's have our ug outing someday soon (:

three days, and we became close like that, can you imagine what fourteen days in india can do?
(granted, osl is no ug, but still.)

[edit] WAIT. I'M BACK. because i want to talk more about drugs! erm, as in, you know, dRUGs. not drugs drugs. erm. yes.

see, things in lead camp don't just end in lead camp.
yingching, zoe, alicia, adeline, isabelle, rebecca, kathryn, denise, shihua, jaslyn, nicole, geraldine, jinning, theodora.

cannabis, coccaine, ecstasy, glue, heroin, ice, ketamine, kitkat, metaphetamine, morphine, nicotine, opium, pot, subutex.

totally r0x0rs.

and geraldine r0x0rs (not), haha.
she: and you put ice on the sprain.. and i don't mean the drug ice.

and no one else in the room got it(:
[/edit]

OH NO IT'S SLIGHTLY PAST MIDNIGHT ALR. no more last day of school ):

2006-11-03T23:07:00.000+08:00

ignore the previous post?
i mean like, save the last for the last day of school.
totally.

you know, sometimes i just say the wrong things. and i have no idea what to say after that. i'm sorry? i am, but i don't know for what. it's just that, sometimes the words come out all wrong, and maybe i sound harsher than i mean to?

see, i'm taking down all the things i should improve on, and work on them.

i really really want sec four to be a good year. like, really. i resolve now, and everyday from now till new year, to be a better person. self improvement.

i don't know. i just feel like being all good and happy and organised. it's so strangely unattainable, but i will really work towards it now. all my past holidays, i keep saying that i will improve! i will be more organised! but it never happens.

even though i get quite scared when i think of all the things i have to/should do, this time i will really try. because i've never felt so.. motivated, even though i have no idea what i'm motivated by. maybe this year was a kinda.. awakener? or whatever the word is. oh yay. maybe that means i have finally 'kai qiao'? (:

that'll be nice.
except, i won't end up being annoyingly nice and boring, will i?

hmm. nahh.

2006-11-01T20:37:00.000+08:00

okay, i will stop sounding ~~emo~~ overly emo.

just uh, i won't be writing anything here anymore, so uh, bye?

2006-10-31T23:24:00.000+08:00

THE BIG BLACK HOLE, IT SUCKS YOU IN, SUCKS YOU INNNNN.

ohmygawd. make it stop.

2006-10-29T22:08:00.001+08:00

you know what. i knew i missed you guys, but i've never realised how much, until i spoke to you again today.

JCGAD. <33.

i miss the times at summer school when we can just play cards and do all sorts of weird stuff and just have lotsa fun. I STILL THINK ABOUT THEM OKAY. all the time, whenever i have a break from school work. I WILL NEVER NEVER NEVER FORGET YOU GUYS.

haha, and i think i'm still as kaypoh as ever about *. :D

BIG HEARTS & HUGS.

2006-10-23T19:31:00.000+08:00

hahaha! i think mad,eh rocks.
we are ~~l0S3rZ~~ at arcade! :D i can't believe i lost at the bubble puzzle thingo to cheng laa. hahaha. and the marvel superhero game thing rocks :D

and who's the pro one who managed to get the dvd to play?

and i love besterr laa.
denise: what is 2x3?
isa: 6.
denise: what is 3x2?
isa: 2?

ohmygoodness. our math sucks :D
BUT I STILL LOVE ISA. now i have tuo qiang shi jie to watch! who cares if it's super old. i still likee (:

2006-10-12T18:04:00.000+08:00

the feeling left as suddenly as it came.

it's just this sudden feeling of loss.
i'm not sure whether i want it back.
it's just so.. different now?

aside from that,
my friends are t3h nuTzz.

"r&r, the blue button's just below!"

2006-10-08T18:49:00.000+08:00

i'm still looking for a best friend, but i guess it's not as important now.

dude, it's the EOYs, dude.
i've done a little of chem, a little of bio, a little of physics.
i think i'll try and finish chem by tomorrow.
good thing geog is kinda.. duhh.

this is totally uncopyrighted.
"and every day i mug and mug /
and mug until tomorrow"

let's start the count down.

2006-10-07T19:16:00.000+08:00

"i'm looking for a best friend. will you be my best friend?"

why is it that the people i want to like me, never seem to; and those i don't, .

(i'm sure that the above sentence will be all "FRAGMENTED, CONSIDER REVISING" if i type it in mword, but i can't be bothered to try and phrase it better.)

;or maybe, what i really want is to be a best friend.

i should be studying, but all i want to do is to sit and, think.

SHUUUUNN.
that's when i realise.

2006-10-02T14:01:00.000+08:00

i finally cleared my email inbox, because it hit 88% and hotmail wants me to clear stuff \:

so from 1200+ messages, i'm now down to 298 messages only.
and it took me only 2 over hours to make sure i deleted the unwanted/outdated stuff.

and now, my inbox is only 36% full! i can let stuff accumulate for another couple more months (or maybe not, with all the proposals that are bound to start coming after eoys) before i clear out again (and no, i'm not going to bother to get gmail acct. if i do, i'll have two accts to take care of.)

and! i created folders, so things are more organised :D now i won't have to plough painfully through hundreds of messages when i 'find' messages, because i can limit my search to (e.g.) 'osl folder only' or something, and these folders only have 100+ messages each :D

off my pathetic email grooming, i'm still debating whether to go to school tomorrow. *slaps hand to forehead* yeps, still slightly feverish.

grahhhhh.

and where is that stupid cd! argh.

2006-09-26T22:30:00.000+08:00

i'm 15 for a moment,
caught between 10 and 20
and i'm just dreaming
counting the ways to where you are

15 there's still time for you
time to buy and time to lose
15, there's never a wish better than this
when you've only got 100 years to live

15 there's still time for you
time to buy and time to lose yourself
within a morning star
15 i'm alright with you
15, there's never a wish better than this
when you've only got 100 years to live

pretty song(:

2006-09-24T22:40:00.000+08:00

sometimes,

anyways. i seldom have dreams when i sleep, you know? when i do, they are really weird, and i usually forget them in a day or two.

but this one.. i had it a week ago, and i still remember it so clearly.

..someone (and yes, i know who that someone is) came over and hugged me. and then said to me, "you always tell us to stop whining, then why are you whining?"

and then she just ran off like that.

and then i woke up.

i do tell people that everything will be okay, to look on the bright side. and that someone in the dream.. i told her that the most.

isn't it hypocritical of me to not believe in what i say?

sometimes i just really need to shut up. not just about not practicing what i preach. but about bringing jokes and things too far.

'cause the phrase "i don't trust you anymore" really really hurts.

okay. maybe this is the post-pt syndrome talking. or the there's-something-wrong-with-my-nose talking.

either way. i'm down with something. again. grahhh.

2006-09-23T16:36:00.000+08:00

i think that today's been rather fun(:

first was cluster activity. food was messy (as usual) ): especially the oranges! wah. it's super annoying, 'cause we didn't have chopping boards and enough knives AGAIN. grahh. but it's quite hard to find halal knives, especially on such a short notice (okay, so maybe we should have prepared everything like, way earlier. but still.)

but the brownies love the animal farm song thing! i wish i was a mentor ): then i can keep talking to the brownies! but i barely saw them instead. darn.

anyways. after that! we went to sell mooncakes (:
but because there were enough people selling already, we went to clean the green shop instead! and yay, we are super chenggong and zai :D

the shop's waaay neater now (: and there's space for so much more things! and i think alternating the items is a smart idea.

can't wait for next saturday leh!

all in all, today has been a good day :D

stupid convo of the day:
"eh, who so smart, cut the watermelon!"
"er, denise."
"you brought the watermelons home yesterday?"
"er, no. i brought my mum here today."

nyahh.

2006-09-17T22:52:00.000+08:00

ohmygoodnessithinkisuck.

grahh. i either
a) eat, think, sleep, breathe guides and totally neglect everything else
b) do osl and forget about guides for a while and feel baaad about it
c) do homework (AND PTs) and forget about everything --"

anyways, french is nowhere to be found in that (short) list. and i am extremely happy that it is just one more lesson, one more eoy and then i'll probably kiss french goodbye(:

(wow, that rhymes.)

do i sound way too happy about the idea of quitting french? and. it's just an idea that i'm very keen about. next year might come and i'll forget to quit and i'll not want to quit anymore and you'll still see me stuck there and i'll continue whining about how i want to quit french and annoy you to infinity.

you know what. i'll go grab the form and stick it on my wall so i'll not forget to quit.

(shoo, go away second-thoughts-about-quitting-french in my head.)

ohmygoodness. i suddenly think that i'll start regretting it next year if i quit. KEEP QUIET, BRAIN.

and yes. i think i say 'ohmygoodness' a lot too, oceana.

2006-09-12T22:17:00.000+08:00

i am actually worried for math tomorrow.
like. siriuzlyy.

GRAPHS DIE GRAPHS.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

on a lighter note. i was rather high in school today.

2006-09-07T12:56:00.000+08:00

THE HOLS ARE HALF GONE.

anyways. pltc is over! i guess in a way i'm rather.. sad. yes. did it meet our expectations? we had always expected camps to be fu!n and h!gh and c!r!a!z!y and this one wasn't so. but i think i really learnt quite a lot, and it has given us loads of inspritation for our guides sessions :D

dingdong! haha! we are like, rather pro okay! we sort of got first for quiz and the tallest tower thing(: we may been quite clique-ish, but.. it's a start :D

pltc is full of reflections. (er, for me that is, in my head) i must totally change my mindset and not take things for granted. -nods.

it takes all kinds to make the world.

and currently, i still like my batchmates best (: not that i'm elitist or anything! it's just the time we've spent together. and i've spent three years with them! three days.. you just can't get that close. at least, i can't.

but dao person! next time arh, don't want you in the patrol! haha. i think we were super clique-ish ): oh wells. something to work on.

dingdong!
(in alphabetical order)
alisa. athena. atikah. denise. vinna. weixin. xuanxuan.

not the most bonded (ugh. chemistry) patrol around perhaps, but we had some fun of our own. and clichéd as it sounds. i'll remember all of you.

anti-climax: now on to ss pt

2006-09-03T14:50:00.000+08:00

top 5 6 8 9 words/phrases that i realise i say alot:
1. ohmygoodness.
2. so annoying!
3. whaa-! / ack!
4. dots.
5. (in the chem lab) CALYN. IT'S CHAOTA-ING!!
6. HUH?!
7. shut up oce/it's not funny oce/-stares at oce --"-
8. rights. --"
9. whateverr.

happy hols! and i'll see you all on thurs :D

2006-08-29T16:37:00.000+08:00

MEI YOU THIRD LANG DE GAN JUE ZHEN HAO.
but two weeks later and it'll be back to the be-home-at-six-thirty-or-later shedule again.

and my mum laughs at me and asks MEI YOU GUIDES DE GAN JUE HUI BU HUI GEN HAO. because guides is a ~~lifetime~~ commitment that i can't choose to give up halfway (well, actually i can. but who's so bodoh as to quit guides, especially after three years?) unlike third lang.

and i go NOOOOOOOOO.

---
i've been doing really little things lately. yesterday, there was guides room stocktaking (: we actually have pretty cool stuff in the guides room (like, duh!) and we have 15 ~~pairs of~~ gloves. (okay, so that was a random piece of unnecessary information)

and we're not going for pltc anymore! (in sept, that is) because it is fully booked already. darn. and so i am going for chem and physics remedial/revision/whatever-you-want-to-call it instead.

i'm glad that my english orals and expo are over. (even though i am pretty sure i screwed both up real bad)
i'm glad that there is teachers' day holiday
i'm glad that i'm going to watch the devil wears prada after teachers' day celebrations
i'm glad that the holidays are coming
i'm not glad that there are so many pts to do (seriously, it's quite sad. someone said she was going to start on her pt and people ask, "which one?")
i'm not glad that the holidays will only last one weeks, and 3 days are going to be spent on chem and physics (not that i'll do much more productive work at home, but still.)
i'm not glad that the eoys are coming soon
i'm not glad that my french is screwing up real bad

and i have no idea whether to be glad that year three is coming to an end soon.
(like, real real soon)

this year came and left so quickly.

2006-08-22T22:18:00.000+08:00

hahaha!
i'm getting back to being a little crazy, a little weird, a little too smiley.

and ohmygosh. i've missed it so much.
i laughed alot during pe (stop throwing the ball at the teacher! tsk XD), during recess (FOOOD), during chinese, math, chem, physics, bio. but recess, lunch and pe. really. (:

i like laughing. go phoenix, and dragon, and ~~volleyball~~netball!
and i don't like mean people. shoo. go away.

(i shall look at this later and laugh. how.. childish(: )

2006-08-20T20:54:00.000+08:00

i sort of have a life! :D

i go out every saturday night till quite late(:
which means my saturdays are quite unproductive.
but i like.

whee.
i will forget the fact that i have quite a lot of pts crashing down on me

and that guides sessions are ending ):
WHY. i think the bester's guides sessions are lovely(:
or maybe i'm just biased.
oh wells.

and i shall go off to mark stuff! i feel like a teacher.
some of the papers i mark are quite funny(X

2006-08-17T23:15:00.000+08:00

okay. i think i'm going mad with chinese pt

hahaha. do you like the new lay? it's based on a book by jimmy! totally chinese pt (: you know, in my class, 7 groups (out of 10) did jimmy's books :D and now my lay is jimmy-ish too! and i've found ANOTHER jimmy lay (that looks decent) that i might use if i get tired of this.

kellie tan! can see this in mozilla? XD

2006-08-07T22:40:00.000+08:00

this is quite bad.

people (note: plural. not singular) tell me that i'm scary. like. WHAT.

i didn't think too much about it at first. but.

okay. i'll make full use of this national day holiday and sleep like a pig AND a log.

and i'm sorry. i know i've been snapping at some people the past 2 weeks. I'M SORRY. i'll say sorry to you tomorrow.

it's because of the lack of sleep. and the lack of sleep is because.

because.

but i'm getting over it. SO. the smiling, cheerful, happy, dazzling, and what-other-adjectives-used-in-the-letter denise will be back! real soon.

it's surprising how a little rushed note can make me so happy. even though you know they've probably exaggerated stuff. oh well. (:

2006-07-30T23:00:00.000+08:00

okay. it's over. just like that.
it feels a little.. surreal? detached?

what's expected, what's unexpected.
i'm happy for some people,
but i'm sad for more

but no matter what, no matter whether we've gotten the position we've wanted, whether we think we've deserved it or not.
~~it's final.~~ it's not final. and like the guiders said, nothing's permanent.

so let's do our best.

guides has been the highlight of my week for the past 2 1/2 years.
let the flame spread, and highlight others' lives as well

fireworks display in the night sky

and to the sec fours,
well, what everyone has said.
and you are a spiffing brilliant batch. and we're all really really proud of you. you've gone against the odds, and created fireworks.

another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
so make the best of this task and don't ask why
it's not a question but a lesson learnt in time

it's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right
i hope you had the time of your life

so take the photographs and stillframes in your mind
hang it on a shelf in good health and good time
tattos and memories and dead skin on trial
for what it's worth, it was worth all the while

it's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right
i hope you had the time of your life

[edit]
after striping, we had batch dinner, and some of us stayed till later.
and it was absolute fun.
i love the way we all can just.. hang and have fun ~~and disrupt other people's ahem. private lives~~
TFD. THOMAS FRENDICK. THOMAS AND FRIENDS. (TAF?)
absolute loves.

and shimin, welcome to sunflower!
[/edit]

--
and. i have a secret.
but i can't tell you, because it will screw everything up
and i really don't want things to screw up.

2006-07-24T21:04:00.000+08:00

hahaha. WO KAN KAI LE.

anw. i'm busyy with french! and ~~loads of~~some other stuff too. actually, it's not alot of things. just that they somehow manage to all crop up at the same time. HOW TO GET INSPIRATION FOR DANCE. hahahaha. under the sea.

and my sister's friend is currently doing my physics worksheet because he can. BUT it's a good thing! ~~cause i'll actually do my physics worksheet properly for the first time~~ 'cause that's one less thing to do (provided he does it correctly).

AC(B) CAMPFIRE. i'm going (i think. most probably.)! ~~legally, or otherwise~~ ~~i'm going to crash~~ no seriously. hopefully someone needs a replacement. if not, i'll just go with my sister and happen to sit with the rgguides. and not because i'm desperately wanting to go! but because, don't you think it's fun to crash?

hahahahha. i'm feeling high-ish and random. (even though i have french homework in front of me.)

AND THANK YOU NICE PEOPLE WHO TAGGED.
hugs to all of you ~~from fifi~~
reallyreallyhugehugs

-HUGS.

2006-07-17T20:36:00.000+08:00

somebody once told me (no, it's not the all star song again) that the phrase 'i love you' is overused and it's superficial and lost its meaning. ~~and that somebody once pissed me off.~~ and i don't believe what that somebody once said.

just three words can make a difference. even though it was rushed, ahmei really made my day/night when she suddenly told me to jiayou (YES, EILEEEEEEN, you get special!mention here) it just felt better. like someone actually cares. and so. maybe lotsa people do care. thomases! most (i hope), if not all. RIGHT. ahhah. (am i some sort of attention-seeker, desperately hoping that this will cause people to stick 'I LOVE YOU's all over my cbox/desk/locker/bag~~/head~~. hmm.) and many other people.

and i love you all back too. why else do you think i will randomly go to the guides blog and say I HEARTS ALL OF YOU.

three words! can go a long way/make people go a long way. tonnes of other things do too, i guess. but these three are particularly meaningful now.

and you wonder why i had always wanted ahmei to XXXXX. because ahmei is such a lovely girl and she really IS soft like a comforter. and warm like one too. and if you ever come by here again. I LUBBS YOU. and i'm not as good as you are with comforting others with words (seriously. i just hug people.) and i don't know how you're feeling now or what to say. I HOPE YOU ARE DOING GOOD TOO. take care too yeah.

HUGS.
(see what i mean?)

and i'm currently stuck on this song! like, seriously stuck. i didn't even realise that i was singing it until i er. realised that i was singing it.

hey girl, i wanna catch your wave
hey girl, i wanna drift away with you
hey girl, you've got an undertow
hey girl (hey girl), don't wanna let you go~

2006-07-14T22:51:00.000+08:00

my feet complain of fatigue and pain.
my eyes fall asleep.

(this post shall once again contain no smiley faces or anything similar, though i am much tempted to throw tonnes of them)

the day draws nearer and nearer.
and i think i am getting nervous?

and it's the last few times of calling sunflower to "patrol, attention"

(btw. everything seems fine again. hurrah (for (the end of) another pt))

2006-07-11T23:20:00.000+08:00

i feel better, i think.
got back into a mindless mix of school and whatnot.
sleep has been in deficit, and so i am desperately trying to make up for it. people said that they still up till 2 (or later) to finish work. obviously, each to his/her own. it does not work for me.

stress is a strange little thing. when in overdose, it makes my stomach cramp like crazy, and makes me unable to concentrate, or sleep.

the guides handbook is surprisingly inspiring. and i only realised that after 3 years of owning it. (no, i do not just think that it is useful. it is.. motivational. in a sense. and the guide laws... some of them just help you to carry on.) i wonder if i can write that in my weekly language review as the insightful thing that changed my life?

i was about to go sleep after i finish typing this. but i suddenly realised that i still have the prgs award form to be filled. and it has to be ready for the interview tomorrow. and my interview time slot has to be the ridiculous one at 8.50am. which means that i do not have time to do it tomorrow. oh dear. and i have absolutely no idea on what to say.

i am okay. i am okay. i am okay. i have to constantly remind myself that. that i am okay.
okay. I AM OVER IT ALREADY. okay. okay.

whoever said laughter is the best medicine, was really smart.
but i need to learn to find the balance between amusing, funny, lame and can-you-please-just-shut-up-already
but at least, laughing helps. (and i'm sorry if i annoyed you one way or another. and i don't act cute. really.)

btw. this post has absolutely no smileys whatsoever. it is pure words and commas, brackets and fullstops. and i like it. i should continue typing like this. who knows. maybe one day i'll start typing my Capital Letters Again.

2006-07-09T00:26:00.000+08:00

i feel better already.

must be the 11 hours that i spent sleeping.

and as i ~~accidentally~~smartly created a word yesterday,

goofnights to you(:

MY-LIFE-IS-PACKED[dot]

2006-07-07T19:29:00.000+08:00

it's been such a crappy week.

i can't believe that it's already been a week.
that the week just flew by like that.
and also that so many things have happened, but it's only just a week.

~~before~~should anyone ask, i'm okay. really. i hope. maybe. after this weekend?
so many things have happened. i don't know where to start, what to say.
just. so many things have happened.
and i just want to hide in a corner and cry.
i've almost cried so many times already.

i wonder if i looked like i was about to cry.
cause i really felt like it.
not because i think the session was screwed up (though yes, i think it was, but honestly, it was not that bad. it could have been alot worse. seriously.). but because. of everything.
and i'm starting to regret my decisions. everything i have done. even though i'd promised myself to never do a stupid thing like that.

(was it worth it?)

i think it'll be a really valuable 3 sessions. i've really seen all the others really.. rise to the occasion? and i know, there's a chance that i won't make it. (but that's not the reason that i've been feeling so.. out. i'm not that superficial or concerned about status and whatnot. at least, i hope not.) and i'm prepared and i won't cry (okay. who am i kidding. myself?)

i just. felt really horrible.

and sometimes. i just feel like giving everything up.
it'll be so easy to just.. give it all up.
and i'll be so much more free

to put it simply,
this year sucked.
and this week sucks the most.

i don't know why. it just does.
but i'll be okay. i think. after this weekend. i'll hide myself in bed for a day, and everything will be alright.
so don't worry.
really. or it'll just make things worse. or something.

2006-07-04T20:38:00.000+08:00

i think crying gives me a headache and makes me feverish and tired?

cause i was super tired today. some people thought i was sick. hmm. not too sure about that.

i just.. hope that everything turns out okay in the end.
but i'm not so sure that that is possible.

2006-07-02T12:28:00.000+08:00

HI.

i shall go crazy about after math for a while, before it (-hysterics) finally becomes passe. after math ~~was~~ is super nice :DD and i want to watch it again! along with the deleted scenes and whatnot (:

KELLIE TAN. i shall gush about stuff with you XDD darn, why aren't you in my class!

(AND I AM SORE FROM CARWASHING)

2006-06-30T21:13:00.000+08:00

YAWN. i am tired! ahhah. carwashing is tiring, but FUN FUN FUN. whee. i got to know alot (okay, SOME) people better! :D

but now i'm tired. and still have proposal to do la!

oh wells. CARWASHING IS TEH LOVE. XD

2006-06-26T20:24:00.000+08:00

is it worse to wave back at someone cause you thought that (s)he was waving at you when in actual fact (s)he was not? or

is it worse to not wave back at someone cause you thought (s)he was not waving at you when in actual fact (s)he was?

..
whoops?(:

2006-06-17T13:57:00.000+08:00

TUO DIAO TUO DIAO TUO DIAO TUO TUO TUO TUO

hahaha! i like kboxing! and i like kboxing with han more! okay. i just like rubbishing around with han (:

sec threes kbox-ed from 11 to 2 yesterday! and we sang (quite nicely) (: then we went crazy and started singing stuff like DO-RE-MI and TIAN MI MI and BARBIE GIRL :D and DUI MIAN DE NV HAI KAN GUO LAI :DD han said i was HIGHH. whoops! (:

then we had our 'last song' from 2 to 230! the kbox people came and said "last song!" three times and we said ok! and sang alot more songs (:

after that, we had our proper batch meeting. we tried going to macs! but no space, and people didn't want bk): and the park has no place to sit! and THE LIBRARY WAS SUPER STRESSFULLLLL.

we are a noisy batch! and when we went in there, we were like "SHH. don't laugh!" and we didn't dare to talk at all 'cause the place was damn quiet. and when we walked in, EVERYONE STARED AT US. so we went to hide at the side xD and accidentally disturbed the guy and girl reading a book together at a corner. WHOOPS. :D

finally, we went to the foodcourt! which was empty! and we had ice kachang and stuff (: then we discussed rural hike proposal! we discussed quite a lot i think(:

i laughed alot yesterday(:

and last night, i had meant to check email and do work, but i went midnight shopping instead! because my sister wanted to go. so we shopped at bugis from 7+ to 11. the midnight shopping part was all.. squashy --"

and i only bought a cd --" OH WELLS.

at least yesterday was fun(:

2006-06-15T16:23:00.000+08:00

whoops. can't be bothered to create my own blogskin.

so it's not really geek in the pink, more like geek in the green

but at least this skin's pretty (: